User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Esther vs Tómas - Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 4
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Epic Rap Battles of Horror. Yep, nobody knows these characters, I know. This is a battle I gave a ton of hints to but nobody actually ever ended up directly guessing, but BTTF came close as hell so props to him. I know it technically hasn't been a full seven days since Serial vs Cereal, but I figured you guys had probably and hopefully already forgotten about that battle by now. Anyways, this match-up features sociopathic con-artist Esther Coleman, battling with tortured soul Tómas, in a battle of two orphaned "kids" who are not what they seem, sinner vs victim, and a whole lot of other contrast, plus something about broken necks. Today's battle was suggested by CaveJohnson333, GIR and Joeaikman. Speaking of which, special thanks to Joey for shedding his special talent by portraying Tómas! He knocked it out of the park and definitely did it better than I could have. Anyways, I think that's all, enjoy the battle. Cast Some little girl YouTube star as Esther Coleman (video), ||Superwoman|| as audio O'Neill Monahan as Tómas (video), Mat4yo as audio (lol) Beat: Frenzy Intro Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! VS! BEGIN! The Battle Esther: A special surprise is in store for this story, Esther’s enormously storming, Something sore to see yet a bore to me, went to glory while accordingly mourning Roaring the thwarting of notorious Orphans performing retorting, Coleman forced it Of course it’s contorted, the sporting of this poor morbid abortion’s re-facial distortion, This spaniards hammered, thinking there’s a single person out there who doesn’t already hate you In for a loss once the ribbons come off, go crying to Simon, not like he could save you Not against flirting with servants to further reassert what I want is whats certain But as for this perverted vermin? Tómas the Engine Tanked and went'' Behind the Curtain'' Even before this fight, you were already squealing, up until your big revealing Shows it’s cause your face is unappealing. Boo-hoo. Nobody cares about your feelings. This peasants depression fuels his aggression, unpleasantly venomous, for his transgressions My lesson is ending. You’re joining my unlucky seven - but you aren’t going to heaven Tómas: I'll knock on the wall, move poles, get Simon trapped in my room This Orphan's Black, heart colder than the lake that is her tomb Feel it in your womb, the kicking, now let's please play my game And reveal a secret, you killed a sister just so you could get laid I'm not a killer, just a poor boy, wanting somebody to love me And I'm as positive of victory that it could be Simon's HIV You're a freak, I can empathise, given that I was born the way I am I'll paint a portrait of why your lies should send you back to retard camp Your infatuation with daddy is evident, you're freely fitting to Freud's theory Of attraction to a parent, but that potent prospect here proves very eerie When he rejects you and you kill him just cos he wouldn't touch you dearly And left Danny dying, despicable, left your mommy teary and dreary Esther: Aren’t we past this? Dumbass bitch, I won’t take lines like your fake rhymes, I shame minds of your lame kind. I played your game, now you play mine. (Esther throws off her ribbons, revealing herself to be Leena Klamer) Surprised? Don't be. Even with the ribbons, you couldn't hope to kill me You couldn't even kill beats, silly, you’re not special, and you never will be You pose no real fight, your repealed mic’s like dignity - Stolen like I steal lives, Mock my ways of love but it's not like you'd know what it feels like (Leena readopts her ribbons, giving her back the appearance of an innocent eight year old) Something's Wrong With you, Tommy. And like every woman who’s seen this zombie, I’m your superior two times over, but I’m still NOT YOUR FUCKING MOMMY '' Tómas: That's not very nice, try thrice, this is no way to ''break the ice Hitting Max-imum rap levels, you won't survive the night I'm the ghostly, haunting lost soul with poison lyrics in abundance You're a pungent fungus in the coal shed, seducing mommy’s husband No moral compass, or sense of substance, you'll be sent back to the slammer When I turn in the evidence, this is the second time you failed to drop the hammer You make my jaw drop with your rudeness, that's alright, we're almost through (Tómas stomps his feet and creates a giant crack in the ice Esther stands on) I'd give you my protection as a gift, but my sack is just too good for you Announcer: WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! Outro Who won? Esther Tómas HINT DEDUCTION: Locomotive vs Scrolls: Tómas shares a first name with popular kids icon Thomas the Tank Engine, while Esther shares a name with an Egyptian queen mentioned in biblical text. This one was half guessed by Cave Nanananananananana!: Reference to Batman, a famous Orphan, and also a throwback to when Drakan used Esther to hint a battle with Batman. This one was guessed right by both Cave and BTTF Hunger Games vs Maze Runner: Esther's actress, Isabelle Fuhrman, also portrayed Clove from the Hunger Games. This is coupled with the fact that Tómas shares a name with the main protagonist of Maze Runner. This one was half-guessed by BTTF Dermatologists hate her: This is a reference to how Esther looks eight years old due to dwarfism, but is actually in her late thirties. Guessed right by BTTF HINT TO THE NEXT BATTLE: CHAOS VS DISORDER '' '' Tiger vs Night - Who wins?? Category:Blog posts